debs | Things I No Longer Have the Patience For

I. Drivers of Lake Oswego, Lewis & Clark, and the Surrounding Areas

Ok children. Today we're going to learn about TRAFFIC CIRCLES. The rules are actually quite simple. I honestly don't understand why you all suddenly become retarded (excuse the incredibly non-PC word choice) when faced with one. Drivers across the big pond have been negotiating them for years without major catastrophes.

Rule the First: When you find yourself approaching a traffic circle, you must slow down. This is to make sure you are able to see if any other automobiles might also be approaching said traffic circle from other directions. It also allows you to observe

Rule the Second: Once reaching the traffic circle, you must YIELD. Not just because the sign says to, or because it's the law, but even more importantly, you must do so so you don't inadvertently end up slamming into a pedestrian/another automobile and causing carnage on the roadway.

Rule the Third: If you are the only one at the traffic circle, after yielding, you may continue on your merry way. If you are not the only person at the traffic circle, the person who was there FIRST is allowed to go FIRST.

Rule 3.5: If there is a LINE at your sign due to lines at the other yield signs, you are to take bloody turns. Just because the person in front of you just went, this does not mean that now is your time to zoom-a vu.

Rule the Fourth: If you and another car reach the traffic circle at the same time, the car on the RIGHT has the right of way, and you will YIELD, bitches! Yes, that means you, blond girl on the cell phone who almost rammed into me this evening.

Rule the Fifth: Oh, for the love of shit. You do not yield in the traffic circle. Do you want to die?

That's it. Five simple rules. If you cannot abide by them, you are either assholes...or idiots.

II. The Choir o'DOOM.
*le SIGH*
Like the traffic circle, it's simple. Shut the hell up, pay attention, and we'll get more done during scheduled choir practice so we don't have to have extra rehearsals which are v. difficult for me to attend, as I have a lot on my plate right now.

I will continue to tell you what page/measure/piece we are on, because it is one of the only ways to keep moving forward. I violently dislike a majority of you so v. v. much, and you have the collective maturity level of a 13 year old boy. It's a religious text. That is the way these things are worded. Deal, quit your giggling, and let's just get on with it, yeah?

This is one of my favorite pieces I have ever sung, and I swear to God, if you fuck this up.....

And you, Meghann, I'm aware that you are not only our section leader, but a voice major, and an incredibly gifted singer. I am also aware that rarely do you actually sing with us. But, you still feel it is your place to condescend and feel irritable when the majority of the soprano section is acting like asshats. Listen, my friend, until you actually start singing with us, you have v. little authority here.

I am dreaming of those days when I actually had the authority to tell everyone around me to shape up and pay attention, but this is not a power trip thing. I just know what a disciplined choir is capable of, and I want us to use our time together to the best of our advantage.

All right, I'm done whining. Just had to get that out of my system. Thanks for your patience.

Things I No Longer Have the Patience For

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