They say the best is for the best...

My song choice tonight is in honor of National Coming Out Day (stateside, I think the Brits get it tomorrow). I've only experienced one true coming out moment in my life--the high school friend I mentioned in an earlier post--everyone else in my life who is gay always just...was. In terms of my uncle, some of the cousins, and my sister, there was never a big announcement, it was just understood. Part of this stemmed, I think, from location as both of my parents were born and raised in the midwest. I don't think my uncle has ever taken his partner of 25+ years back to Iowa. Otherwise, with classmates and friends and such it was something felt instinctively or mentioned in an off-hand way--"Did you hear that Jay came out?"--that sort of thing.

I've had fantasies about coming out as bisexual to my office because most of the people I work with need a swift kick in the balls when it comes to talking about/dealing with non-heteros. What's stopping me is that it feels a bit dishonest; while I find both men and women sexually attractive and have harbored crushes on both sexes, I hesitate to label myself concretely. I think sexuality and affection are nebulous and everyone has their own level of ambiguity, or sway, if you will. Wouldn't it be nice if someday in the future we could just stop obsessing about these labels and just let love be love?

Anyway, the song I chose for tonight is the Catie Curtis' "Radical." This particular version comes from the Kink Live Five CD. I think Kink FM stopped making these live discs, which is a damn shame because they were really something else.

"Radical" by Catie Curtis
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As narcissistic as it sounds, sometimes I feel like Brandi Carlile is singing specifically to me. It's as if she's reached right inside my head and yanked out everything I'm thinking and feeling and is belting it back at me with her incredible, emotive voice. In this age of auto-tuned pop groups and inane lyrics, she's a strong, visceral artist. I feel like we're lucky just to be allowed to listen to her music.

This is the opening track from her most recent album, Give up the Ghost. It means a lot to me right now.

"Looking Out" by Brandi Carlile
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From the age of nine until I graduated from college, I sang in one choir or another. I had a particularly good high school choral experience the unfortunately ruined me for everything that came after. My collegiate choir was pretty meh, a fact I was reminded of this past weekend while listening to recordings from my four year stint in their ranks, and I haven't sung in an organized group since. One of the questions people who haven't seen me in a while ask these days is "Are you singing anywhere?" No, I'm not, and this past weekend I think I realized why that is. It's not just that I'm uninterested in the local choirs available to me here, it's also that I'm no longer a soprano. Soprano is not only the section in which I feel most comfortable and secure, it's also the harmonic bit of classical music I enjoy the most. Additionally, I'm not musically gifted enough to sing alto.

So I will just have to appease my inner choral groupie by listening to classical choral music performed by others. Last year I think I talked a bit about Stile Antico and their album Song of Songs and so that's who I choose to offer today. This is a rendition of Song of Songs chapter 7, verses 11-12 composed by Orlande de Lassus and performed by the mixed chorus known as Stile Antico.

"Veni, dilecte mi" by Stile Antico
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Additionally, thank you dissonant_dream for the yorkie. ♥

Dar Williams was a huge part of my college experience. I listened to her both obsessively and often exclusively for about four years and even though it's now been about two years (still doing the alphabetical listening schtick) since I've listened to any of her albums in their entirety, I still know all of her songs. Green World may be my favorite of the albums, and I chose this particular song in honor of the newly arrived West Collins (I really hope this is his name and that Misha isn't just making junk up again, because it's adorable), because it reminds me of his daddy. ♥

"What Do You Love More than Love?" by Dar Williams
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It's the birthday of one of my best friends from high school, so I gave him a call. We talked for about fifteen minutes and he seemed really pleased to hear from me. So someone explain why now I feel like crying again. Sigh. This continual fluctuation between numbness and self-pitying sorrow is starting to wear.

On the days when I feel overwhelming numbness, I often try to use music to jolt myself out of it. Often I have to use music I can't listen to on "normal" days because it usually makes me feel too much; I require that sort of overboard response just to get back to something resembling a normal emotive footing.

I also have music that I associate with days of the week. For example, I chose Jolie Holland for todays OSaD pick because she feels "Sunday" to me. I only own one album, but I'd like to pick up the one that this particular song resides on because this song hits me in my heart whenever I hear it. It's the melody and the imagery; I think this one is more accessible than some of her others but it's still unique and affecting.

I also think my above-mentioned friend would enjoy her. :)

"Mexico City" by Jolie Holland
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I wasn't even sure I was going to do this this year, mostly because I'm not sure anyone finds this interesting but me. But here we are I suppose. Since we're kicking off on Supernatural night, I'll put up my Dean/Lisa song. Dave Carter, god rest his soul, is one of my very favorite lyricists and his voice reminds me of better days. I wish I had been able to see him and Tracy Grammer perform together.

"Lancelot" by Dave Carter & Tracy Grammer
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Wow, it's almost the end of the month already. How did that happen?

Today my father got into a car accident while driving my car. No one was hurt, thank god, but Sam's front fender and left headlight are all smashed to hell. My father didn't even want me to look at it and took it straight down to the bodyshop. Now we have a fugly rental that smells like dead hooker. Woe. :(

A couple of home-town heroes tonight. The first is Casey Hurt, a gentleman I met waaaaaay back in junior high. He showed up my 8th grade year and kind of infiltrated our little bus group (go Bus 12!). Anyway, sang with him in choir in high school before he took off for parts unknown, reappearing a few years later back in Corvallis. He's a singer-songwriter along the lines of...uh, any guy you've heard with a guitar in the last ten years. If you know me you'll know why it pains me to make this comparison, but if you like Mason Jennings or Jason Manns you'll like Casey. He's got a beautiful, sweet voice and he's really passionate about his music. Both of these songs are from his most recent release Letters from a Friend (available on iTunes)/plug. I believe his wife Lauren is doing backing vocals on "Get Back to Ya."

"Get Back to Ya"
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"Seven Seas"
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I've talked about Tatiana Hargreaves before. I met Tatiana at a house concert her folks hosted two years ago, when she was already playing fiddle with the likes of Bruce Molsky (who performs with her on "Grub Springs"), Sara Watkins and Sarah Jarosz. She's fourteen now and released her first album earlier this year. Her brother, Alex Hargreaves, also plays and joins her on "Shaking Down the Acorns." Last year Tatiana became the youngest ever fiddle player to win the Championship Division of the Oregon Oldtime Fiddlers Contest. She has an amazing gift and I'm eager to see where she follows it.

"Grub Springs"
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"Shaking Down the Acorns"
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It just wouldn't be the October song a day if I didn't share some Josh Ritter. If you don't already know the depth of my love for Mr. Ritter (even during times like these when he refuses to reward it himself, thus rendering me an embittered and sad shell of my former self), then you haven't been here that long. ;) I'm gonna share two tonight; the first is one of my favorite love songs (by any artist). It's from his first, self-titled album, which until a couple of years ago was more difficult to find. The poetry of this song never fails to make me feel at home.

"Potter's Wheel"
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This second is from the Snow is Gone! ep that friend and fellow Josh Enthusiast dissonant_dream sent to me for Christmas (or my birthday....) last year. It's a duet with Sarah Harmer, another artist whom I've loved for quite awhile now. I think their voices and styles and well suited to one another and I'd love to see them collaborate more in the future.

"Long May You Run"
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The first Mountain Goats CD I owned was The Sunset Tree, and I really love that album a lot, but the 2002 album All Hail West Texas is my favorite. It's the epitome of lo-fi and the dusty, muffled sound of it combined with the sharp stories within the songs makes the whole thing run like a film reel. This song chokes me up.

"Riches & Wonders"
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In other news, I'm finally watching Band of Brothers.

I associate 80's music with Saturday nights, probably because one of the local radio stations used to do an 80's mix that night. Anyway, Roxy Music is one of my favorite "guilty pleasure" 80's bands. This happens to be my favorite Roxy Music song of the moment.

"Oh Yeah"
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